sammi106's Xanga

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Thu, 25 Sep 2008 07:29:41 GMT

It's been ages and ages and ages tat i din update my blog...

1st, i got nothing to express myself for these few months.... there are ups n downs for me.... sometimes is really struggling...

2nd, been busy with my pregnancy since im back from uk to msia.... a lot of things need to be prepare...

but this week im am too too too boring as im staying in the house for the whole week waiting to give birth, cant drive n go out alone.... i've been watching tvb series for the whole day or sleep until headache.... damn....

but there is one exciting news.... i will be admitted to the hospital within these few days or latest by mon.... so tats mean the latest on mon my baby will be born... my baby is too comfortable inside my tummy tat i guess he dun wish to come out... hahaha... its really full 40 weeks i am pregnant.... tis will be a devil little baby boy for me.... ppl said my tummy as big as a ball...its so round... my feeling is so excited n nervous as well... if my baby really coming to this world on mon then it will be on 29/9/08.... such a good date...

yea, one of my friend is crazy tat she said she wanna accompany me when im giving birth... cos she is curious wat the doc will do to me... as when she gave birth 2 mths ago, she couldnt c wat the doc did to her....

i'll upload my little baby boy's photos.... so c my baby soon....

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Tue, 27 May 2008 19:05:11 GMT

today the baby is already 22weeks inside the tummy.... and

IT'S A BABY BOY!!!

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Thu, 22 May 2008 15:20:38 GMT

been pushing from all the peoples... i dunno wat i can do now...i know everybody care for me....but i dunno... now i cant think of anything.... if i go on with the decision....i'll lose everyone.... is it worth it...i really dunno...

i dunno if there is someone really understand my feeling right now... 10 out of 10 ask me to leave... but i dunno... he still the father of the baby... i dunno....

im so scare i'd make a wong decision... but at this moment i dunno what i should do...

Friday, May 09, 2008

Fri, 09 May 2008 22:55:16 GMT

i try to persuade myself to go separate.... n i did.... i made a decision... to go separate..... he got his life n i got my life....

watever he do...i dun care...

now im a new sammi waiting for my newborn...

Monday, May 05, 2008

Mon, 05 May 2008 15:39:11 GMT

for all this while, just realised im being so stupid.... really really stupid....stupid with my decision.... and thought tat ppl will know how i treat them... but its not... i should believe in myself tat no one can be trusted....

no point working hard as the benefits are not for me.... im so stupid tat i worked so hard and all the things are going into other ppl hand....earning me nothing.... still bear with my own debt...

ppl thought im so worry with this and tat....actually im not... just tat i feel so heartache.... heartache tat im being used....

i am so fucking stupid.... so i made a decision to go back..... to start my new life with my newborn....tat will be so wonderful again....my life back in malaysia.... with a bunch of family and friends around....

its too late tat i realised it but at least im wake up....

im sorry for those i made them so worry bout me.... no worry... i know what i am doing... i know....

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:32:17 GMT

im so fed up with this guy... he is such a jerk...

ppl always worry bout me be with him but im no worry cos i know wat im doing...

i'll leave when the the time comes...

everybody now im not stupid n love is not blind... maybe i dun love him...

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Tue, 22 Apr 2008 16:53:15 GMT

i am going back!!!

cant wait to eat all the foods that i miss so much!!!

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Sat, 12 Apr 2008 05:05:13 GMT

going back, is it really the right decision?

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Wed, 09 Apr 2008 12:34:17 GMT

Its really got this such thing pregancy despression...ppl said is normal but i thought i wouldnt have it if i keep looking at the bright side... i dunno... maybe recently i've been busy with some jobs in hand tat make me dun have a wonderful pregnancy... ppl said when u pregnant u shouldnt be sad or even cry... yes, it is when u got a blissful and supportive family.... i try to leave this place at this moment but i dunno this time i will be able to success or not... i think the only reason i dun leave this place for so long is because maybe i wanna proof to others tat their wrong... but now i feel like they are right... i cant be able to be with him... its 2 different ppl to communicate... no, we dun even communicate... the only thing we do is quarrel or argue to communicate.... with such communication there is no such things as happy or even blissful... i thought when im pregnant, no one will give me problem but who knows im still a normal human being, no special treatment like i thought...i got the time til end of the month to make my decision... but whoever who knows me... i am tough to handle all these problem...maybe crying is the only cure right now tat make me feel a bit comfort... not end of the world....

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 22:49:15 GMT

i believe whoever who read today blog, just got one thing in mind... leave him!!!

he slapped me... just now... its painful... n i tell myself before if he beat me once, i'll leave him... but tis really come at the wrong time... its really a shit time now... i dunno should i shift or wait til the time tat i fly back... there is about one month for me to fly back if i decided tat...

i can tell.....it hard.... it feel hot... it feel pain.... he did this after a few months together...im wondering when he will beat me up if i continue to go with him...

u know what, im expecting this to happened one day... i know he is hot temper.... and he used to beat the other wife as well.... so needless to say its me... im no one...